Last week I wrote about how in the initial experience of serving the Mass I was given many joyful childhood memories. And likewise there are many joys that I have received since entering seminary; however, this week I want to focus on the fact that no vocation is given simply for oneself. All vocations are given by God for the sake of others.
As our life progresses it becomes more clear that God is calling in a certain direction. For most of you who read this, that means that at some point you met someone who you decided to commit yourself to for life. For others, like me, it means that God asked you to have a particular kind of relationship not just with one person, but with all people. The call to the priesthood, and similarly to religious life, is one whereby you commit yourself to the single state in order to make yourself wholly available to God in a spiritual relationship and neighbor in pastoral relationships.
Most often the reaction I get is: How can you do this? Don’t you miss dating? Are you lonely? What about kids? But what I really hear within these and similar questions is: Can this single life you are living generate happiness? Does celibacy for the Kingdom, for God really cut it in this day an age?
If celibacy means simply being alone all the time, never developing deep friendships then yes, I can see the concern of friends and onlookers. But if celibacy allows for a deep, dare I say sometimes even deeper, relationship with God and neighbor then what is the celibate person really missing in their lives? Granted not every priest lives his celibacy to his own benefit, but then again not every married person lives his or her vocation to their benefit. There are unhappy priests, and there are unhappy husbands and wives. But this is not because the commitment to marriage, the single state or the priesthood necessitates misery. Rather it is all in our approach to the circumstances we are in.
The approach and direction of every vocation must be outward. After prayer and interior reflection, we must live toward others. In fact the only way we discover and recover our vocations is to live our lives for others. When we turn inward, our vocations and personal joys shrivel. My seminary advisor often says that gifts are only gifts when they are in the act of being given away. And this is so with our lives. It is only in spending our lives that we are able hold on to our call. It is only in giving that we discover why we were given this vocation in the first place.
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